The deadline for filing Federal Income Tax returns was approaching, but the Space Alien had no idea how to proceed with this important task.
Expert help was surely needed, so the Space Alien scurried to an open window and traveling at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light soon arrived at the office of Mr. Charles Rettig, Commissioner of the United States Internal Revenue Service.
The Commissioner was thrilled to meet the Space Alien!
"I've heard so much about you!" the Commissioner exclaimed. "How may I help you?"
The Space Alien explained the problem and the Commissioner said the Space Alien would need to declare all income for the year 2020.
Reaching into a worn valise the Space Alien spread out the following items on the Commissioner's desk:
A half-finished jar of peanut butter, an open box of crackers, and a toothbrush.
"This is what my Editor gave me last year!" exclaimed the Space Alien. "She is unbelievably generous!"
"But didn't you get any money?" asked the Commissioner, carefully wiping cracker crumbs from his mahogany desk.
"I know people have money" said the Space Alien. "I think my Editor has some in her handbag, but I really don't need it. I just like to share the peanut butter and crackers with hungry birds and squirrels, and my Editor knows I am meticulous about the care of my teeth. I'd like to take a look at yours, and I could brush them for you too if you'd like!"
And with that, the Space Alien picked up the toothbrush.
"Oh, that won't be necessary!" said the Commissioner backing away.
Then the Commissioner pressed a button on his desk, and an assistant appeared in the doorway.
"Ms. Smith," said the Commissioner, "would you kindly escort our distinguished visitor to the front door and mark our records: Space Alien: Paid in Full!"
Then he turned to the Space Alien: "Thank you for your visit today! You are a fine example for every citizen!"
The Space Alien departed, first thanking the Commissioner for making sure there would be enough cash on hand to run the government.
All in all it was a good day for the Space Alien!