Space Alien Gazette

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN SEEKS TAX ADVICE

The deadline for filing Federal Income Tax returns was approaching, but the Space Alien had no idea how to proceed with this important task.

Expert help was surely needed, so the Space Alien scurried to an open window and traveling at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light soon arrived at the office of Mr. Charles Rettig, Commissioner of the United States Internal Revenue Service.  

The Commissioner was thrilled to meet the Space Alien!



"I've heard so much about you!" the Commissioner exclaimed.  "How may I help you?"

The Space Alien explained the problem and the Commissioner said the Space Alien would need to declare all income for the year 2020.  

Reaching into a worn valise the Space Alien spread out the following items on the Commissioner's desk: 

A half-finished jar of peanut butter, an open box of crackers, and a toothbrush.  

"This is what my Editor gave me last year!" exclaimed the Space Alien.  "She is unbelievably generous!" 

"But didn't you get any money?" asked the Commissioner, carefully wiping cracker crumbs from his mahogany desk.  

"I know people have money" said the Space Alien.  "I think my Editor has some in her handbag, but I really don't need it.  I just like to share the peanut butter and crackers with hungry birds and squirrels, and my Editor knows I am meticulous about the care of my teeth.  I'd like to take a look at yours, and I could brush them for you too if you'd like!" 

And with that, the Space Alien picked up the toothbrush.    

"Oh, that won't be necessary!" said the Commissioner backing away.

Then the Commissioner pressed a button on his desk, and an assistant appeared in the doorway.   

"Ms. Smith," said the Commissioner, "would you kindly escort our distinguished visitor to the front door and mark our records: Space Alien: Paid in Full!"   

Then he turned to the Space Alien: "Thank you for your visit today! You are a fine example for every citizen!"  

The Space Alien departed, first thanking the Commissioner for making sure there would be enough cash on hand to run the government.   

All in all it was a good day for the Space Alien! 

                                                         ###

Friday, March 12, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN HELPS DURING BLIZZARDS

The Space Alien worked overtime during recent winter snowstorms clearing snow from miles of highway so needed supplies could be delivered to stores and hospitals!



The Space Alien brought food to those unable to get out to shop! 

Now that the worst days of winter are past, the Space Alien will take a nice vacation! Your Editor may be unable to accompany, but wishes the Space Alien a lovely and well-deserved holiday!  



  Thank you, Space Alien! 
Have a wonderful trip!
###

Saturday, February 13, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN WRITES A VALENTINE FOR 2021

Your Editor found the Space Alien hard at work in the overwhelmingly busy Editorial Offices of the Space Alien Gazette.  

"What are you working on?" she asked.

"Have you forgotten?" exclaimed the Space Alien.   "Valentine's Day is here and I've written a poem for the occasion!"

"Let's see it!" said Your Editor.  "I know you were most impressed with our Presidential Inaugural Poet, our very first National Youth Poet Laureate, Amanda Gorman."

"Yes," said the Space Alien, now blushing shyly.  "I watched her on Inauguration Day, January 20, and she took my breath away!  She is a superb poet, and the youngest poet ever to read at a Presidential Inauguration!" 

"I would love to meet her," continued the Space Alien, "and I hope she might like my work!  Perhaps she could even give me some advice!  She has been a true inspiration for me!"

"You chose a fine role model," agreed Your Editor, "so let's see how you are doing with your Valentine poem!"

The Space Alien handed Your Editor a sheet of paper with these words:

           For my Space Alien Valentine:

I like you a lot and you know what I mean,
You're as dear as a shot for COVID-19!
Your poems are as strong as a needle with serum,
Your words are inspiring and I love to hear 'em!
For so many reasons, each one of them mine,
I hope you will be my Sweet Valentine!

 Your Editor spent a moment in silent reflection before she spoke, as the Space Alien gazed at her questioningly. 

"This is a beautiful poem!" she exclaimed.  "It touches my heart, and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated!"  

So, dear Loyal Readers, all of us here at the unbelievably busy offices of the Space Alien Gazette offer you this original work of our very own Space Alien, with our warmest wishes for St. Valentine's Day, 2021!

                          

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For there is always light, 
If only we're brave enough to see it.
If only we're brave enough to be it."
from: "The Hill We Climb" by Amanda Gorman,
2021 Inaugural Poet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To read the text & watch the video of Amanda Gorman's reading: 
And for more about Amanda Gorman see:

###

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN IS INVITED TO A PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION

The Space Alien was thrilled to receive an engraved invitation to the upcoming Presidential Inauguration to be held on January 20, 2021 and scurried to the impossibly busy Editorial Offices of the Space Alien Gazette to show Your Editor.

Your Editor was somewhat annoyed to see this.
"I never got such an invitation!" she muttered.   

"Well you didn't work as hard as I did on the election!" answered the Space Alien. 

Your Editor took a closer look at the invitation.
"This isn't even for this inauguration!  It's from years ago when President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden were inaugurated!"

"Well, they hadn't yet printed the ones for this year," said the Space Alien, "but President Elect Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris especially wanted me to be there when they were inaugurated and sent this early so I'd be sure to save January 20!  I'm very excited!"

"You don't even have proper clothes to wear to an inauguration!" snapped Your Editor, still miffed at being overlooked for this important occasion.

"I'll be helping the Secret Service!" said the Space Alien.  "They were worried about possible shenanigans this year so I won't need special clothes.  I'll just be myself as a plainclothes deputy blending anonymously into the crowd!"

"I'm sure you will be very convincing in this role," answered Your Editor, "but what about the Inaugural Ball?  Do you even know how to dance?"

"Oh you know what a fine dancer I am!  No problem there!  Just look at my credits!" 
                                                       
"It's not that kind of dancing!" said Your Editor, "but I'm sure you will figure it out!  And the most important thing is that we will soon have a wonderful new President and Vice President!"
###
Visit the Space Alien at:
Contact Your Editor at:
 

Sunday, December 13, 2020

THE SPACE ALIEN PREPARES FOR HOLIDAYS IN DANGEROUS TIMES

 The Space Alien always looks forward to holidays, especially those that brighten dark winter days. 

But this year it would be hard to celebrate.  Some human friends had become ill with COVID-19, and others were rightly afraid to enjoy holiday gatherings.  

Hanukkah began the evening of December 10, and while the Space Alien customarily lights the menorah candles each of the eight nights of this holiday, and loves to play with a dreydl, somehow it now seems quite dreary because it would not be safe to have friends over for a wonderful party with special songs and foods to celebrate.

 

And soon it would be Christmas.  In years past the Space Alien would join friends to wish them joy at this special season.  But this year such gatherings would not be safe.      

To express these concerns, the Space Alien wrote these words to a popular holiday tune:*  

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, 

But there’s no jingle-belling, 

And who can be telling us words of good cheer,

As in past wonderful times of the year!


It’s the most worrisome time of the year!

Can we be celebrating,

if we’re also hating and living in fear?

At this most feverish time of the year!


It’s the most pitiful time of the year.

When we all should be shopping,

Until we are dropping, at malls far and near.  

It’s the most frustrating season, that’s clear! 


It’s the most blunderful time of the year.

Our leaders have failed us, 

A dire ill ails us, and leaves us in fear!

At this most dangerous time of the year!



Your Editor was doubtful.  "This isn't the sort of depressing message we like to print in the Space Alien Gazette!" she insisted. 


"But didn't you say we only produce the most honest journalism?" asked the Space Alien? 


"I guess you're right," agreed Your Editor, "but can we still wish our Loyal Readers a better, brighter 2021?" 


"Of course we can!" said the Space Alien. "That's the best thing we can do!"  


And with that, the Space Alien began to sing some beautiful, traditional holiday songs, and hopes you will join in!  

All of us here in the unbelievably busy offices of the Space Alien Gazette wish you, our Loyal Readers, a bright, and healthy year ahead!


___________________

* When you are done reading this post, you can hear The Most Wonderful Time of the Year sung by Andy Williams:   

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGC_YgeQ5w

And read some history of this holiday favorite!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_the_Most_Wonderful_Time_of_the_Year  

###

Saturday, November 21, 2020

THE SPACE ALIEN CELEBRATES THANKSGIVING 2020

 The Space Alien looked at the calendar and realized that it was almost Thanksgiving!   

Quickly the Space Alien picked up the phone and dialed Your Editor.  


"What are we doing for Thanksgiving this year?" cried the Space Alien.  "It's just days away and we haven't even begun to plan a gala dinner for family and friends!"  

Your Editor answered sadly "Don't you understand?  There is an epidemic this year!  It is called COVID19!  Why, we even carried a story about that!  It's at: http://www.spacealiengazette.com/2020/04/the-space-alien-and-queen-elizabeth-ii.html "

"You're right!" answered the Space Alien.  "I guess that's why I'm still wearing this mask!  You know I'm immune to this virus, but I've wanted to set a good example.  Now I've almost forgotten I'm wearing it.  It just seems natural now!"



"And don't forget," added Your Editor, "You even wrote a lovely poem about wearing a mask!" 

But the Space Alien still wanted to know about Thanksgiving. 

"How will we celebrate this year?  Will we still get together with family and friends and have lots of yummy food and share great memories?" 

Your Editor shook her head sadly. 

"I'm afraid not," she answered.  It's just too dangerous this year."  

"But maybe we can get together on the internet!" Your Editor continued.  "At least we could see and hear each other!"  

"It won't be the same," observed the Space Alien, "but if we love each other we can still have a meaningful Thanksgiving.  We can be thankful for each other!"

"You're right," answered Your Editor.  "We may not have a holiday table but we'll have Zoom!"

And here, Loyal Readers, is the poem written by our very own Space Alien.  We know you will appreciate its sentiment!   

You don't have to ask,
I'll still Wear a Mask!
At home or in space,
I'll cover my face!
Our friends will admire us,
And not catch this virus!
It's fashionable too!
And shows I love you!

All of us here at the busy and socially distancing offices of the Space Alien Gazette wish you the best Thanksgiving possible!  

Monday, November 2, 2020

THE SPACE ALIEN GETS OUT THE VOTE!

The Space Alien reminds Loyal Readers to vote on Tuesday, November 3!  

Vote cheerfully and thoughtfully!

And here, Loyal Readers, is a song you can sing as you march to the polls!  Your Editor wrote the words and you can sing them to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic.  

Tuesday Morning Patriots 


Our loyal troops in uniform are on the line for you,

They do their job at any cost, I’m grateful that they do.

But all of us can join the fight wherever we may be,

‘Cause Tuesday Morning Patriots will keep our country free.


Chorus: 

Yes, Tuesday Morning Patriots are marching to the polls,

To exercise their voting rights with fire in their souls,

With ballots, not with bullets, they’ll send their message clear,

Our country needs good leadership, the time is now,  it’s here!


Our right to vote has been secured by fire, blood and sweat,

Millions struggled, fought and died, and we must not forget!

Don’t let your country slip away!  Let your voice be heard!

Just SHOUT into that ballot box, they’ll hear your every word!


Chorus:

Yes, Tuesday Morning Patriots are marching to the polls,

To exercise their voting rights with fire in their souls,

With ballots, not with bullets, they’ll send their message clear,

Our country needs good leadership, the time is now,  it’s here!


Never say that one small vote can’t turn this land around,

One plus one, a million strong, will make a mighty sound!

You have the choice, do nothing, and nothing’s what you’ll get,

But take a small step to the polls, you’ll make a winning bet!


Chorus:

Yes, Tuesday Morning Patriots are marching to the polls,

To exercise their voting rights with fire in their souls,

With ballots, not with bullets, they’ll send their message clear,

Our country needs good leadership, the time is now,  it’s here!


Make no complaint November fourth* when we get the news, 

Of who will be sworn in to lead and who gets walking shoes;

Don’t wait!   November third* join voters proud to serve,

And let the slackers who stay home get just what they deserve! 


Chorus: 

Yes, Tuesday Morning Patriots are marching to the polls,

To exercise their voting rights with fire in their souls,

With ballots, not with bullets, they’ll send their message clear,

Our country needs good leadership, the time is now,  it’s here!


Plan your Vote -- and Vote!

-----------------------------

* Revised For the 2020 National Election. 

See more about Tuesday Morning Patriots at 

https://joansoccasionalpoems.blogspot.com/2020/08/tuesday-morning-patriots-2020.html 

© 2004 Joan D. Levin.  

May be used freely for any non-commercial purpose.


Sunday, October 11, 2020

THE SPACE ALIEN PREPARES FOR ELECTION DAY 2020

     Election Day 2020 is just around the corner on Tuesday, November 3rd.  Absentee voting has already begun!

     The Space Alien is not a citizen of the United States and therefore cannot vote, but can still show voters where to get the information they need to cast absentee ballots and help the postal workers deliver them!  

      Because of COVID-19, so many voters have decided to vote by mail that the Space Alien fears the post offices will be swamped.  

     Fortunately the U. S. Postal Service says it is prepared and not to worry about this!  

     If you have not yet voted, here are some resources the Space Alien recommends: 

1. The U. S. Government website where you can find your state's rules: 

https://www.usa.gov/absentee-voting

2. The United States Postal Service information on voting by mail: For this link, please Click Here

We urge Loyal Readers to take advantage of these resources and be sure to VOTE!   

                                      ###