Friday, May 12, 2017

The Space Alien Celebrates Your Editor's Birthday

A Truck Arrived with a Huge Box!

The Space Alien was taking a break from  investigating serious national and world situations in order to celebrate your editor's birthday when a truck bearing a huge box arrived at the offices of the Space Alien Gazette.

The Driver Could Barely Carry the Box

The driver could barely carry the huge box inside, and your editor saw that it bore a card signed by the Space Alien.

"What is this?" she called across the insanely busy newsroom.

"It's for your birthday!" said the Space Alien.

"Well get over here and help me open it," said your editor.

The Space Alien needed Tools
to Open the Huge Box

The Space Alien picked up a tool belt to help your editor with the yards and yards of tape, string and wrappings and your editor pulled out a small package.

Inside she found a high-end  graphing calculator with row upon row of buttons for advanced mathematical functions.

For Big Numbers
"This is a nice gift," she said politely, "but why do you think I need this?'

The Space Alien seemed amazed at the question.

"Because of your  advanced age you need a calculator capable of handling extremely large numbers!"

"Well, thank you for that, I guess," murmured your editor.   "Now what else is in here?" she asked, pulling out an insulated container nearly as big as a small bathtub.

Healthful Veggies
The Space Alien pried open the container and pulled out a bunch of Swiss Chard from a box full of dark leafy greens with some cauliflower, radishes,  fennel and beets thrown in, and well as a few lemons and oranges!

An avalanche of kale, parsley, bok choy, spinach and dozens of other cruciferous vegetables cascaded onto the floor, nearly knocking your editor off her feet!
And all of it was organically grown!

"What is this for?" she asked.

"You need six large servings of these foods every day!  I read about that in Dr. Esselstyn's books in our Space Alien Gazette Bookstore on our website footer.   You need these veggies to live a long,  healthy life."

"This is important," continued the Space Alien, "because if you don't live long, neither do I!"

"Well thank you," said your editor, "I'll certainly want to eat plenty of these!"

Another Gift from the
Space Alien

Then she pulled out the last item, another small box.

Inside was a wall plaque with a portrait of the Space Alien and the words "Home Sweet Home."

"I'll hang it on my wall!" said your editor.  "Where did you find such a beautiful gift?"

"It's in the SAG Bazaar mentioned on our website footer, or just click here," said the Space Alien. "I thought you would like to have my suitably framed official portrait on your wall where you could always see it!"

"It is quite impressive, but how did you pay for it?"

"It was ridiculously overpriced, but you're worth it so I used your credit card!"

"Well, thank you for the thought!"

"And one more thing," said the Space Alien,  "I used your credit card for something else!"

"What was  that?" asked your editor, suspiciously.

To Donate, CLICK HERE.
"I made a donation to the Greater Chicago Food Depository so others could celebrate your birthday with a good meal!"

"Thank you!  That's a wonderful gift," said your editor.  "And as your editor," she added, "it may be unprofessional to say this, but I think you are really special."

"I think you are really special too," answered the Space Alien.

They sat in silence for a moment, and then your editor spoke:

"Let's go back to my house and have some birthday cake!"

"Will there be candles on it?" asked the Space Alien.

"Certainly!  One for each year!" answered your editor, who went on to describe the cake in some detail, but the Space Alien was already on the phone calling the fire department and paying no attention at all.
A Special Birthday Cake