|James Comey Testifies|
While this appointment awaits Senate confirmation, it appears that the Space Alien is no longer in the running for this position.
"Uh oh" thought your editor, "the Space Alien was really hoping for that appointment!" (Q.V.).
|A Saddened Space Alien|
Just then, with a giant "whoosh," the Space Alien, having traveled at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, was home from Washington, D.C., still wearing a fashionable fedora, but now appearing somewhat forlorn.
"I can't believe it," said the Space Alien dispiritedly. "I knew I was a great candidate for that job!"
"I'm sure you were," said your editor, "but we don't always get what we want."
"Don't patronize me with your trite philosophy!" snapped the Space Alien. "I need a meaningful job, one commensurate with my outstanding abilities!"
"Well don't snap at me," snapped your editor, "and I'll try to think of one!"
They sat for a moment, each somewhat taken aback by this outburst.
Then your editor spoke:
|Carl Bernstein and |
"Like Woodward & Bernstein?" asked the Space Alien.
"Sure! Just like them!" answered your editor.
|Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford|
"Could I be in a movie like Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman in All the President's Men?"
"Why not?" answered your editor.
"Who would play me?" asked the Space Alien.
"We can think about that later," said your editor.
"I'd play myself," said the Space Alien "I'm good looking and I'll be a great investigator! It would be like being the FBI without the Federal Bureau part, right?"
|The Space Alien Prepares to Investigate!|
"Something like that," murmured your editor, "and look, I have a brand new heavy-duty flashlight for you!'
The Space Alien examined the flashlight carefully.
"Say, this is terrific! I can really investigate with this!"
"Yes, you can shine it into dark corners and let our loyal readers know what you find!"
So, Loyal Readers, the Space Alien welcomes your leads into secret doings in the corridors of power that cry out for investigation. You may submit your ideas via the "write us" section in the sidebar. (If you received this via e-mail subscription you may need to go to the website www.spacealiengazette.com to do this, or simply respond by return e-mail).
All responses received during the month of June, 2017, will be carefully considered by the Space Alien and the entire staff of the Space Alien Gazette. Did we hear the words "Pulitzer Prize" bandied about?