Thursday, July 19, 2018

The Space Alien Writes a Novel

Your Editor found the Space Alien furiously writing with a Waterman fountain pen filled with Sanford's Royal Violet ink.

She waited for the Space Alien to pause before she spoke.

"What are you doing?"  She asked.

"I'm writing a novel," said the Space Alien.  "It's a political thriller and I'm sure it will be a bestseller!"

"It looks like purple prose," said Your Editor, "but what's it about?" 

"Can you keep it a secret?" asked the Space Alien.

"Certainly!" agreed Your Editor.  

"My novel is about the leader of the most powerful country on Earth, yet one giving every appearance of being a semi-literate, divisive, habitual liar who, ignoring the advice of his expert advisors, becomes a slavish toady to the thuggish, murderous head of a third rate dictatorship!   

"Oh my goodness," said Your Editor, "you'll never find a publisher for that!"

"Why not?" asked the Space Alien.  "This novel will have intrigue and danger, and lots of exciting twists and turns!"

"But it makes absolutely no sense!" cried Your Editor.  "Do you know who Mark Twain is?"

"Of course I do!" said the Space Alien.  "Huckleberry Finn is one of my favorite books!"

"Well Mark Twain said words to the effect that the difference between truth and fiction was that fiction has to make sense.*  But your story makes no sense at all.  No one would believe it and no one would buy it."

"Maybe you're right," said the Space Alien.  "I'll write a romance novel instead about a character from Mars in love with another character from Venus!"

"Good," said Your Editor.  "That makes a LOT more sense than what you have here and would surely be a bestseller."
*Note to Loyal Readers: Words to this effect have been frequently attributed to Mark Twain, and this theme has been discussed in several venues; these are just a few examples:

 Your Editor thinks the exact expression may in fact have been from one of her own favorite authors,  Leo Rosten:

However, since it appears that Mark Twain said something along the same lines and considering that he is one of the Space Alien's faves, we'll leave it stet!

Here again, the Space Alien Gazette is your most reliable source for alternative facts!