Wednesday, April 14, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN SEEKS TAX ADVICE

The deadline for filing Federal Income Tax returns was approaching, but the Space Alien had no idea how to proceed with this important task.

Expert help was surely needed, so the Space Alien scurried to an open window and traveling at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light soon arrived at the office of Mr. Charles Rettig, Commissioner of the United States Internal Revenue Service.  

The Commissioner was thrilled to meet the Space Alien!



"I've heard so much about you!" the Commissioner exclaimed.  "How may I help you?"

The Space Alien explained the problem and the Commissioner said the Space Alien would need to declare all income for the year 2020.  

Reaching into a worn valise the Space Alien spread out the following items on the Commissioner's desk: 

A half-finished jar of peanut butter, an open box of crackers, and a toothbrush.  

"This is what my Editor gave me last year!" exclaimed the Space Alien.  "She is unbelievably generous!" 

"But didn't you get any money?" asked the Commissioner, carefully wiping cracker crumbs from his mahogany desk.  

"I know people have money" said the Space Alien.  "I think my Editor has some in her handbag, but I really don't need it.  I just like to share the peanut butter and crackers with hungry birds and squirrels, and my Editor knows I am meticulous about the care of my teeth.  I'd like to take a look at yours, and I could brush them for you too if you'd like!" 

And with that, the Space Alien picked up the toothbrush.    

"Oh, that won't be necessary!" said the Commissioner backing away.

Then the Commissioner pressed a button on his desk, and an assistant appeared in the doorway.   

"Ms. Smith," said the Commissioner, "would you kindly escort our distinguished visitor to the front door and mark our records: Space Alien: Paid in Full!"   

Then he turned to the Space Alien: "Thank you for your visit today! You are a fine example for every citizen!"  

The Space Alien departed, first thanking the Commissioner for making sure there would be enough cash on hand to run the government.   

All in all it was a good day for the Space Alien! 

                                                         ###

Friday, March 12, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN HELPS DURING BLIZZARDS

The Space Alien worked overtime during recent winter snowstorms clearing snow from miles of highway so needed supplies could be delivered to stores and hospitals!



The Space Alien brought food to those unable to get out to shop! 

Now that the worst days of winter are past, the Space Alien will take a nice vacation! Your Editor may be unable to accompany, but wishes the Space Alien a lovely and well-deserved holiday!  



  Thank you, Space Alien! 
Have a wonderful trip!
###

Saturday, February 13, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN WRITES A VALENTINE FOR 2021

Your Editor found the Space Alien hard at work in the overwhelmingly busy Editorial Offices of the Space Alien Gazette.  

"What are you working on?" she asked.

"Have you forgotten?" exclaimed the Space Alien.   "Valentine's Day is here and I've written a poem for the occasion!"

"Let's see it!" said Your Editor.  "I know you were most impressed with our Presidential Inaugural Poet, our very first National Youth Poet Laureate, Amanda Gorman."

"Yes," said the Space Alien, now blushing shyly.  "I watched her on Inauguration Day, January 20, and she took my breath away!  She is a superb poet, and the youngest poet ever to read at a Presidential Inauguration!" 

"I would love to meet her," continued the Space Alien, "and I hope she might like my work!  Perhaps she could even give me some advice!  She has been a true inspiration for me!"

"You chose a fine role model," agreed Your Editor, "so let's see how you are doing with your Valentine poem!"

The Space Alien handed Your Editor a sheet of paper with these words:

           For my Space Alien Valentine:

I like you a lot and you know what I mean,
You're as dear as a shot for COVID-19!
Your poems are as strong as a needle with serum,
Your words are inspiring and I love to hear 'em!
For so many reasons, each one of them mine,
I hope you will be my Sweet Valentine!

 Your Editor spent a moment in silent reflection before she spoke, as the Space Alien gazed at her questioningly. 

"This is a beautiful poem!" she exclaimed.  "It touches my heart, and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated!"  

So, dear Loyal Readers, all of us here at the unbelievably busy offices of the Space Alien Gazette offer you this original work of our very own Space Alien, with our warmest wishes for St. Valentine's Day, 2021!

                          

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For there is always light, 
If only we're brave enough to see it.
If only we're brave enough to be it."
from: "The Hill We Climb" by Amanda Gorman,
2021 Inaugural Poet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To read the text & watch the video of Amanda Gorman's reading: 
And for more about Amanda Gorman see:

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Tuesday, January 12, 2021

THE SPACE ALIEN IS INVITED TO A PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION

The Space Alien was thrilled to receive an engraved invitation to the upcoming Presidential Inauguration to be held on January 20, 2021 and scurried to the impossibly busy Editorial Offices of the Space Alien Gazette to show Your Editor.

Your Editor was somewhat annoyed to see this.
"I never got such an invitation!" she muttered.   

"Well you didn't work as hard as I did on the election!" answered the Space Alien. 

Your Editor took a closer look at the invitation.
"This isn't even for this inauguration!  It's from years ago when President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden were inaugurated!"

"Well, they hadn't yet printed the ones for this year," said the Space Alien, "but President Elect Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris especially wanted me to be there when they were inaugurated and sent this early so I'd be sure to save January 20!  I'm very excited!"

"You don't even have proper clothes to wear to an inauguration!" snapped Your Editor, still miffed at being overlooked for this important occasion.

"I'll be helping the Secret Service!" said the Space Alien.  "They were worried about possible shenanigans this year so I won't need special clothes.  I'll just be myself as a plainclothes deputy blending anonymously into the crowd!"

"I'm sure you will be very convincing in this role," answered Your Editor, "but what about the Inaugural Ball?  Do you even know how to dance?"

"Oh you know what a fine dancer I am!  No problem there!  Just look at my credits!" 
                                                       
"It's not that kind of dancing!" said Your Editor, "but I'm sure you will figure it out!  And the most important thing is that we will soon have a wonderful new President and Vice President!"
###
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