Thursday, October 17, 2019

The Space Alien Masters the Amsler Grid

Your Editor was upset because her vertical blinds were warped and not hanging straight.  "This is really a nuisance," she exclaimed.  "It will be expensive and inconvenient to get new ones."

The Space Alien took a look and said  "There's nothing wrong with those blinds!  You'd better see an eye doctor!"

That sounded ridiculous to Your Editor, but to put an end to the argument she went to see her eye doctor who immediately referred her to an excellent retina specialist,  Dr. Timothy Flood.
Dr. Flood handed her a card imprinted with a black and white grid with a dot in the center. This was an Amsler grid.  He asked her cover one eye and to focus the other eye on the dot in the center,  and asked her if the all lines on the grid were straight.    

"NO!" answered Your Editor.  "Some lines are crooked.  This is a defective drawing!  You should not be using it!" 

"The lines are perfectly straight," said Dr. Flood, "but you have a condition called Macular Degeneration that makes some of the lines appear distorted."

You, Loyal Reader, may read more about this here:

Then Dr. Flood examined the Space Alien's eyes.  The Space Alien easily passed the Amsler test and Dr. Flood remarked that this opportunity to examine the Space Alien's eyes was one of the high points of his professional career.  

Your Editor, however, now regularly receives shots in her right eye to treat Macular Degeneration.  She notes that while the Amsler grid she is asked to look at is still defective, it is not getting worse!  
Note:  The Space Alien would like to remind Loyal Readers that they could try the Amsler Grid test above, covering one eye and focusing the other on the dot in the center.  If any lines appear wavy, it would be a good idea to consult an eye doctor.